monster sarcasm rally

Dear imaginary blog reader,
I shall now pass the keyboard over to the one and only BigPimpin, so that he can respond to your questions. If you keep them coming in, he'll continue to answer them.
The Sarcastrix
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at 05:37 Anonymous said...
Dear BigPimpin,
I caught my boyfriend wearing my sexy undies: he seemed pleased, but not to see me. I called him a pervert, but secretly thought he looked hot. Do you think dressing him totally as a girl and taking him for a Brazilian would be suitably chastising?
LJ

Yo hoe,
ur boyfrend is Gay get over it. lets Talk more abuot you're underwear what do dey look like? Is it that new thing frm Victoria Secrete? Cause thats Hot.
Bigpimpin

PS call me!!!!!!!!!!!
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at 07:47 Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...
Dear BigPimpin,
I have a crowd of vodka-impaired Polacks tripping over themselves in an effort to hunt me down and force me to listen to Argentinian digeridoo music. Performed by them. While they force feed me shots of cheap bathtub potato vodka.
Aside from running and reconstructive facial surgery, what can you suggest to help me avoid this horrible fate?

Hey Car Alarm!
Thas cool Vodkas good. We had a party at are house a few wks ego I drank a lot of vodka and smoked a big J. Their was some good sluts at the party. An ur sayin you don't like music punk? The dayglodoodoo is a awsom instermint. Ur friend polick is weird if he wants to play it in the bathtub tho. Mabey he is Gay. If u wanna get surgery for your face dats ok as longs u dont come out like a chic. Dudes who look lkie chiks are'nt cool and you might be Gay. Not dat theirs anythen wrong wif dat.
BigPimpin (I am not Gay.)
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