monster sarcasm rally

1. Everybody else is doing it; I'm just following the crowd.
2. I almost never follow the crowd.
3. I am sic.
4. I am a Christian.
5. I have two dogs.
6. I have a large rubber cockroach nailed to my bedroom wall.
7. It amuses me greatly to show it to guests.
8. I watch Buffy.
9. Lately I've been watching Stargate.
10. It's Anne's fault that I've been watching Stargate.
11. I watch too much TV.
12. The thought of Jimmy Dean sausages horrifies me.
13. I walk an average of 6-8 km a day.
14. My novel will not be finished in time for (this year's) NaNoWriMo.
15. I’m bitter about fact #23.
16. I eat a lot.
17. I’m eating a brownie right now.
18. I hate it when other women are taller than I am.
19. I had a dream once in which I was surrounded by women at least six inches taller than I was.
20. It’s the worst nightmare I’ve ever had.
21. I’m five foot ten (1.78 m).
22. I’m hungry.
23. Blogexplosion’s users have so far granted me a rating of 2.0 out of a possible 10.
24. I’m afraid of umbrellas.
25. I believe they are weapons.
26. I own a 1999 VW Jedi, 5-speed, black on black.
27. I believe there should be a licensing system for people who want to carry umbrellas.
28. It should be at least as tough to get an umbrella licence as it is to get a driver’s licence.
29. License is a verb.
30. Licence is a noun.
31. Unless you’re American.
32. They spell funny.
33. I’m still eating that brownie.
34. It’s a tofu brownie.
35. I invented two words: agorafemiphobia and velumiphobia.
36. Velumiphobia is an irrational fear of umbrellas.
37. All the characters in my blogs are real people.
38. All the names used in my blogs are made up.
39. All the characters in my blogs are named for somebody or other.
40. Only I get all the references.
41. I hereby christen a new character as Jack.
42. She has yet to appear in any entry but this one.
43. I officially weigh 121 pounds (55 kg).
44. I am a vegetarian.
45. I am a Mac user.
46. I have been one since the original Mac debuted in 1984.
47. I was a small child at the time, thank you very much.
48. Okay, not as small as I’d like to pretend.
49. This is the first job I’ve ever had in which I’ve had to use a PC on a regular basis.
50. I like my Mac 1,387% better.
51. I made that number up.
52. I mean it nonetheless.
53. I am a treehugger.
54. My hair is very photogenic.
55. My face is not.
56. That's right; I said Jedi.
57. The interior of my car usually looks beige.
58. My primary dog has light hair.
59. He sheds a lot.
60. I have never hugged a tree.
61. My secondary dog does not shed, but he does smell funny.
62. My dogs are vegetarians.
63. They are fine with that fact; thank you for your concern.
64. Fact #60 in no way negates fact #53.
65. Dogs can be vegetarian.
66. Dogs should not eat much tofu.
67. It makes them fart.
68. I like to be difficult.
69. I am a virgin.
70. Yes, really.
71. Yes, deliberately.
72. No, thank you.
73. I enjoy being the anti-stereotype to every stereotype that might otherwise apply to me.
74. I do so make sense.
75. Crying is weakness.
76. Crying is acceptable if somebody’s dead.
77. Crying it totally acceptable if it’s brought on by laughing too hard.
78. Barfi is the greatest thing on the planet.
79. Okay, gulab jamun’s better, but barfi has the better name.
80. I could eat Indian food every day for the rest of my life.
81. Seriously.
82. I eat Indian food more often than I eat pizza.
83. I have a tattoo of a farting dog on my left arm.
84. My primary dog is frequently known as Beandog.
85. Douglas Adams was a genius.
86. Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman still are.
87. I’m stronger than I look.
88. I’m a genius, too.
89. My mother told me so.
90. Yes, your butt does look fat in those.
91. I have never dated a guy who made more money than I did.
92. Or wanted to.
93. My secondary dog is sometimes known as the Incredible Puking Wonderdog, but more frequently as the Stinky Monkey.
94. My hips are too big for me to be a professional model.
95. I wear size 27 jeans.
96. I just heard somebody use the phrase, ‘most likely to lose his liver’.
97. I think this line’s mostly filler.
98. That was a gratuitous Buffy quote.
99. Yes, really.
100. I’m hungry.