monster sarcasm rally

I'll admit I wasn't really looking forward to the aforementioned party (hee hee), but in the end it turned out much better than I had expected.

Every party needs one character who defies logic, rationale, explanation, and who makes for entertaining stories after the fact. (Someday I'll tell you about Vampire Guy, from a party long, long ago.) Filling that role at this party was Chris (as in Griffin), formerly known as 'As Yet Unrechristened Male Housemate'. Chris wandered from room to room, interrupting conversations with things that made no sense and attempting to divert all attention to himself.

He found Anne and Ford engaged in a private conversation in the living room. He sat down in front of her and, without waiting for a pause in the conversation, said

Hey, you're a fourth-year Classical Archaeology student. Have you ever heard of the Trojan War? What happened was there was this big...

Um... Right. Later on in the evening things were pretty chilled out. Somebody was playing the guitar and singing. People were talking. Chris walked into the room and annouced that it was time for some hip hop. Nobody paid him any mind. He made his announcement again. Still nobody responded. He walked over to the stereo (which was less than a metre away from the dude with the guitar), inserted his CD, hit play and cranked the volume.

Gina and Shane were the driving forces behind the party. It was their idea and they had the most guests. They spent most of the party in her bedroom. They would appear every half hour or so, put on a little show for everybody (no, I didn't want to see your bra!) and then disappear back upstairs again.

I think their philosophy on life is that people should be having as much sex as possible, with as many people as possible. Sometimes you gotta go to work. Sometimes you have errands that need to be run. Sometimes you have to converse with people that either won't sleep with you or that you have no intention of sleeping with (you know, like your parents). Aside from that, every available moment should be spent having sex. They're like bunnies. Or hormone-driven, inhibitionally challenged teenagers.

Cute but Kinda Evil had an asthma attack in the middle of the party. When it got to the point where it was unbearable, she came to find me. I had no idea where her puffer was, but I knew where mine was: the main floor washroom. I ran to get it, only to find the washroom in use. Scuse me. Pardon me. Comin' through...

I spent a bit of time talking to Northern Irish Mutterer. He's very insightful and interesting and has a keen way with interpretting people's body language. Mostly though, he prefers to spend his time talking about how drunk he can get and that time he ended up in hospital after drinking way too much.

The Stinky Monkey made a new friend. One of Shane's work-friends came by. He seemed nice, but he was one of those socially inept types who won't talk to anybody for fear that they don't want to talk to him. Several of us tried to engage him in conversation only to be met with fear and grunted, single-syllable answers. The Stinky Monkey, on the other hand, liked him. Really liked him. He spent most of the evening sitting on Shy Guy's lap, licking his own crotch. (No, he wasn't licking Shy Guy's crotch. We'd be having a whole different conversation if that were the case.) Anybody know the term lipstick? Eew.

Repeatedly. Eew.

I spent four hours talking to Ford, during which I gave him the same piece of advice 8,347 times. I'm not sure, but I was starting to feel like a bit of a parrot, repeating the same phrase over and over again. But shh... It's a secret, so I can't tell you what the conversation was about.

All in all, not a bad little party.