monster sarcasm rally

My alarm clock is really annoying. And not just because it goes off so frickin' early. Its incessant, repeated noise isn't a 'meep'. It's not really a 'bleep', not quite a 'mrrr'. I don't know how to describe it, except to say that if you imagine the most horrible noise on earth, it sounds a lot like that.

Recently, though, I've discovered other, even more annoying ways to be woken up.

On Friday my alarm clock didn't go off. I would probably have slept in really late if it weren't for the sound of the Stinky Monkey obsessively licking his crotch. I woke up screaming 'Stop it! Don't do that! I hate that noise!', and then looked at the clock. Crap. I got up 10 minutes late.

On Friday night we had a party. I was up until four thirty. I was the last one to go to bed. However, I also got the extreme pleasure of being the first one up on Saturday morning. Why? Funny you should ask. I was lying in bed, dozing in and out of sleep, aware of a conversation between Shane and the newly rechristened Gina (formerly known as 'As Yet Unrechristened Female Housemate'). Eventually, they stopped talking. Oh good, I thought, now I can go back to sleep.

What? What am I hearing? No. No, I'm not hearing that. [press one ear into pillow; pull duvet up over other ear] No way. [press hands to ears and sing la la la la la] Crap. I got up at nine.

I'm sure there are more annoying ways to get up, but I'd prefer to save them for another week.