monster sarcasm rally

Buster does a weekly thing called Tuesday search terms. Having read it several times now, I can honestly say that Buster gets more visitors in a single week than I can ever hope to get in my lifetime. Of course, they all end up on his site by searching google for various forms of porn. Nobody looking for porn ever found their way to my site, I'm sure of that.

Of course, now that I'm using the word 'porn' maybe all that's gonna change...

I searched through the search terms for all my sites and discovered a little fact: nobody finds my site by searching for it. Except me... I search for sarcastrix and it links me here. I like that I can do it, so I keep doing it. I'm so vain. I'm so vain. I probably think this song is about me. I'm so vain.

Okay, so that's not entirely true. Well the vanity bit is, but the search terms part isn't. In the history of the universe (since I switched to statcounter from the patheticness that is blogpatrol), I have been found in the following ways:

Sarcastrix — as previously mentioned, though, these are all me. Well, me and some unnamed individual (Ford) using my computer in my dining room at a time when I wasn't home.

Beandog — somebody found me by searching for Beandog. They were probably looking for the Beandog Abduction, which sadly seems to have fallen off the face of the internet.

Stinky Monkey — I have been linked to three times by people searching for Stinky Monkey. I don't get it. Are all monkeys stinky? If so, why do they keep needing to specify that the monkey in question stinks. If only certain monkeys stink, how will the searcher know if the one they are viewing really does stink or not? Maybe the poster just says that the monkey stinks. Without proof of stink, a person could be seriously mislead.

"hips are too" .jpg — Is it just my imagination, or does this one seem a little bit weird? I think somebody was trying to find a photo on her personal computer, but accidentally searched the internet instead of her hard drive. And yet, she actually chose to click on my link. Did she think I had her picture? The truth is, I just don't know. Some mysteries are better left unsolved.

Stay tuned for the next 57 years or so, because somebody, somewhere may someday perform a search that leads them here. If that should ever come to pass, I'll be ready. Or I'll be out somewhere buying food. Whatever.

PS: Porn, porn, porn.

Update:
In an effort to pointlessly increase traffic to my site I would like to announce that Natalie Portman and Jerry Orbach's new blockbuster, 'New Year Tsunami', will be shown on all earthbound Delta Airlines flights. Petra Nemcova plays a small role as a red cross worker, who gets lost on her way to the Rose Bowl. Aishwarya Rai. Bless you.