monster sarcasm rally

Dear Ford,

It has been brought to our attention that this week (07 March 2005 to 11 March 2005, inclusive) will be your final week at your present place of employment. As you are well aware, your long commute has necissitated a late arrival at home each weekday since commencement of said employment. Given that both CbKE and I arrive home at least an hour ahead of you, you have had the privilege of walking in the front door to find dinner waiting for you. The timing of the termination of your aforementioned (hee hee) employment will coincide with the termination of the meal service.

Beginning next Monday, the 14th of March in the year of our Lord 2005, CbKE and I will expect to find dinner ready for us when we get home. It would be a nice touch, although not strictly necessary if you could arrange to eat your own meals beforehand so that you can play your guitar softly in the background whilst we eat, talk, and generally unwind from our days.

The meals need not be fancy, complex or expensive. They ought, however, to be tasty, nutritious and completely vegetarian. Additionally, please ensure that the house is clean before either of us arrive.

Thank you in advance for your attention and co-operation.
The Sarcastrix