monster sarcasm rally

Just what you've been waiting for: another Letter from the Editor...

Dear Luanne,

What's in a name? That which we call poop by any other name would smell like crap.

Your job is not that difficult. Please learn how to do it. Your ineptitude is making my life difficult. When I have to send you the same e-mail twice because you didn't read it the first time, you seem forgetful. When I have to send you the same e-mail two more times because you still don't get it, well... Forgetful isn't quite the right word. It doesn't begin to approach your level of inefficiency.

When I tell you that I do not work for the Ferengi, it is because I do not work for the Ferengi. When I tell you that she does not supervise my work, it is because she does not supervise my work. When I tell you that I do this and she does that, it is because I do this and she does that.

When I tell you who does what and who does not do what in excruciating detail and you proceed to make requests of the completely wrong people, well... Guess what... It slows down your requests.

Also, when you screw up your document for the 847th time in a row, please don't blame me for your mistake. I know it was you who made it. Your boss knows it was you who made it. My boss (who is your boss's boss) knows it was you who made it. The IT people know it was you who made it. New Chick knows it was you who made it. The other assistants know it was you who made it. The guys who hang around outside the beer store near my house know it was you who made the mistake. And, yes, they're laughing at you. The friggin' pope knows it was you who screwed up. The Ferengi doesn't know her arse from her elbow. But guess what. She still knows 22,654 things that you don't, including the fact that it was you who screwed up. She doesn't actually care, though, since it's not her job to care.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Best regards,
The Sarcastrix