monster sarcasm rally: That explains it

monster sarcasm rally

(contains short works of neurotica and general abuses of sarcasm)

4.3.05

That explains it

I had a bizarre and unexpected experience this morning. This has never happened to me before. I'm not sure what to make of it.

While lying in bed trying to fool myself into believing I was still asleep, I mentally selected what I would wear to work today. The shirt I chose was one I haven't worn since the summer.

I found the clothes I had decided to wear. I pulled the shirt on and began zipping it up. I got the zipper up to about the middle of my back before I made an alarming discovery: it wasn't going to go any further.

I'm confused. I'm awash in perplexion. I don't understand how it could possibly have shrunk since the last time I wore it. Perhaps gremlins broke into my house, located this shirt at the back of my wardrobe, pulled it out, took in the seams, hung it back up, left the house and locked it behind themselves.

Aha! No, the front door was open this morning! Clearly that explains it. The gremlins were unable to lock the door behind themselves on their way out.

Watch out, I heard they're headed to your house next.

|| this is the word of the sarcastrix @ 09:44

everybody's 2¢ worth:

at 12:31

Ian said...
I had the same experience with a pair of pants once. Then I realised I was just thinking about Kirsten Dunst...

; )

at 20:40

Cindy-Lou said...
Those gremlins were at my house yesterday messing with my jeans I think.

at 02:02

CBK said...
Or maybe the gremlins have been sneaking in and shoving chocolate eclairs down your throat while you sleep. I hear they're terrible tailors.

at 06:41

martin said...
I've heard it said that the clothes industry practices size shrinkage, so that someone who used to wear Size 8 clothes would have to buy Size 10 or 12 to be able to fit. Obviously, things are getting pretty sophisticated if they can manage to 'upgrade' clothes in this way after they have been made and bought. You'd almost think they were trying to ensure that everybody has to buy new clothes all the time, wouldn't you?

at 01:46