monster sarcasm rally

Chris continues to perplex us all. The other night we were watching TV when he got home from work. He came in and sat down, saying 'Oh, this is That Show with the Gay Guy*'.

The weird thing was that, when the commercial came on, he made an uncharacteristically insightful and/or witty comment. We all got it and laughed. You know, in a good way. Sadly, I can't recall what on earth it was. But the universe quickly returned to its normal state a moment later, when he started saying things nobody understood.

Yesterday evening Chris told me that he's bored of his job. It's boring, he said. All he ever does is work with numbers and he's tired of it. Umm... He's an accountant (or so he claims). He's been one for all of six months.

Chris: I want to work in the entertainment industry.
Me: Doing what?
Chris: Whatever. Entertaining people...
Me: Like an actor or a comedian?
Chris: Exactly. Except... [short pause] Well, not an actor. Not a comedian. But entertaining people.
Me: What then, stripping?
Chris: Ha ha. Exactly.
[long pause]
Chris: I want to be a promoter for a night club.

Right. There's a promising career. Your over-achieving parents will be so proud. Our son, the drug-addict...

Later last night I had the extreme privilege of listening to a conversation between Ford and Chris. I had gone to bed, and they were in the dining room. My bedroom is next to the dining room and Chris is very, very loud. Ford had just returned from his date-that-was-not-a-date-well-maybe. Chris began to grill him about what had transpired. He was the very image of Eric Idle in the Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink sketch. Say no more...

He then proceeded to give Ford all sorts of helpful hints on how to woo a girl. Ford has the sense not to listen. Right? Good grief, I hope Ford has that much sense. Ford, are you listening? Do not take advice from Chris. Ever. On anything. But especially, especially do not take his advice on women. Those aren't the sort of women you want.

*He overheard CbKE, Ford, Anne and I talking about the fact that Christopher Judge, who plays Teal'c on Stargate, is in reality very, very gay. Or possibly just comically, over-the-top camp... Whatever. Flamboyant actor plays stoic character. Chris now refers to Stargate as That Show with the Gay Guy.