monster sarcasm rally

Once upon a time in the land of the snow Sarcastor the Truly Stubborn was forced into retirement. Unable to stay afloat, he took the only job he could find. It just happened to be the World’s Worst Job Ever. He struggled through it for three years, refusing to look for a better job because ‘nobody’s going to hire a 60-year-old man’.

One day an Evil Villain attacked Sarcastor's friendly dragon. Sarcastor valiantly defended his friend. The Evil Villian retailiated by pulling out his dagger and slashing Sarcastor's throat. Sarcastor decided not to do anything about it, even though he nearly died in the attack. And of course, the World’s Worst Job Ever did not permit sick days. Sarcastor continued to work with the Evil Villain.

Eventually news of the attack reached the ears of the Great Sarcastrix. She thought and plotted and schemed. Eventually her plans were complete and she leapt into action with all the gusto suited to a superhero, um, er… superheroine. The Great Sarcastrix wrote up a resumé for Sarcastor the Truly Stubborn. Then she wrote up a basic covering letter. She signed her father up for a new electronic mail address. She scanned the classifieds for suitable jobs. She customised the letter to each ad. She sent out a plethora (that’s right, not half a plethora, but a whole one) of applications.

Pretty soon the telemathingamajiggy in Sarcastor’s kingdom began ringing off the hook. The first interview he went for yielded nothing. Undeterred, he continued to answer the calls. Soon another interview was arranged for. This time the interview went well.

Sarcastor drove his chariot home to his castle and e-mailed the Great Sarcastrix. Five minutes later he e-mailed her again to say that he had been offered the job.

Much drama ensued when Sarcastor’s lovely bride, She Who Lives in a Bubble, returned from work. For reasons that are not to be understood*, Sarcastor and Bubble were unable to communicate in the same language despite having been married for more than 35 years.

Eventually, (with much aid from their daughter) both Sarcastor and Bubble were able to make their points understood. Sarcastor decided to accept the new job.

All parties may or may not live happily ever after. Well, probably not, but at least there will be happiness today.

*Scientists now speculate that She Who Lives in a Bubble may have been taking communications lessons from Darmok or the Ferengi.