monster sarcasm rally

Once upon a time there were two children, Charley & Janey. Charley and Janey lived next door to one another from the time they were very small. Their parents were friends, and so they became friends. They played together every day. They went everywhere together and did all sorts of cool and fun kid-things together. They had snowball fights and built snowmen. They built forts and made mud pies. They collected tadpoles and bugs.

They played with the bugs they collected, ripping their wings off or plucking their legs off. They liked doing that. It was fun.

Soon, it wasn't so much fun anymore. They'd done it too many times, and with too many different kinds of bugs. They moved on to tadpoles, and then frogs. They threw rocks at birds and bunnies. They did unspeakable things to squirrels. Later on, the neighbours complained that their kittens and puppies went missing. They thought there was a fox in the area. Neither Charley nor Janey ever corrected them.

Nobody ever suspected them, because they were such perfect little children. They ate all their vegetables and did all their homework. On time, even. They even cleaned their bedrooms when their mothers told them to.

Eventually, they grew apart. It wasn't anything specific at first, they just stopped spending so much time together. When they got to high school, they fell in with different crowds. That was pretty much the end of their friendship.

When Charley finished high school he went to work at a local restaurant. He was quiet and shy. He had a hard time looking people in the eye, but the manager kept him on because he always showed up on time. He seemed like a nice enough guy, and everybody liked him.

Everybody who knew him was caught completely off-guard when he was arrested for a series of sexual assaults and murders. He had raped and tortured more than a dozen women before his arrest, killing at least eight. Since this story doesn't take place in Canada, he was sentenced to die by lethal injection. After several attempts at appeal and three new lawyers, he was put to death a week before his 25th birthday.

Janey was much more sensible than Charley was. She dropped the Y off the end of her name and was her high school valedictorian. She never lost her love of torturing innocent victims, but she didn't want to go to prison. And she certainly didn't want to die. She made the logical career choice: she became a dentist. She lived a long and happy life and made a lot of money.

the end

On an unrelated note... Guess who's having a root canal next week!