monster sarcasm rally

My father once sent me an article 'proving' that not only was Harry Potter evil but so was some particular denomination of the Christian church. It seems that when they began filming the first movie, they approached a certain church about using it as the location.

1. That church (Anglican, I believe) said 'no'. They then approached a second church and inquired with them. They said yes, and the movie was filmed there. The fact that the first church denied the request (quite obviously) proves that Harry Potter is evil. Why else would a church refuse such a request?

2. The fact that the second church agreed to allow the movie (already known to be evil as demonstrated in step 1) to be filmed on its premises proves that not only is that particular church evil, but by extension we can see that the entire denomination (sadly, I can't remember which one it was) is quagmired in evil.

3. The fact that the Anglican church denied the request to use its building in the movie proves that the anglican church honours and obeys God by shunning evil. (Remember that the movie was already conclusively proved to be evil in step 1.)

Lord of the Rings (complete with wizards and magic and whatnot) is a Christian classic. Harry Potter (complete with wizards and magic and whatnot) is quite obviously evil. Comparisons between the two must never be made.

-end part one of absurd lecture-

Are you sure that Lord of the Rings can be a Christian Classic if Harry Potter is evil?

1. Frodo has to carry a ring to Mount Doom. Harry Potter plays Qiddich, the goals of which are rings.
2. Lord of the Rings has talking trees. Harry Potter has magical forests.
3. Frodo has 2 companions on his journey. Harry has 2 friends in his school.
4. Frodo is a youngster chosen to complete a difficult task. Harry is a youngster chosen to be a great wizard.
5. Frodo's ring allows him to become invisible. Harry's invisibility blanket allows him to become invisible.
6. Lord of the Rings was written by an author whose first name is shortened to "J." Harry Potter was/is written by an author whose first name is shortened to "J."

Clearly, Lord of the Rings is also evil, and anyone who dares to read the books is, by extension, evil.

-end part two of absurd lecture-

-begin response to part two of absurd lecture-

Ah, a simple misunderstanding...

1. Frodo goes to destroy the ring because the ring is evil. Harry and his pals play with rings.
2. Frodo's trees talk, but Harry's beat him up. Why would the trees beat him if he weren't evil?
3. Frodo's companions want to help him destroy the evil ring. Harry's companions go to the same evil school to participate in the same evil learning.
4. I dunno, man... Got nothing there...
5. Frodo's evil ring makes him invisible. Therefore we know that invisibility is evil.
6. Tolkien's J = John. John the Baptist was the cousin of Jesus. Rowling's J = Jo-Anne. Nobody in the Bible is named Jo-Anne. Coincidence? I think not.

-end absurd lecture-

Many thanks to the one known as Hermione for writing part two of this drivel.