monster sarcasm rally

A co-worker e-mailed me about a project he was working on. He asked if there was anything that I wanted. I told him that I didn't know anything about the project, so, nope... no special requests. He responded by asking if there was anything in general that I wanted.

Well...

Now that you mention it, there are a few things. I would like:

• a year's supply of vegan chocolate chip cookies (fresh baked on a weekly basis)
• another cup of coffee (fair trade with organic cream and sugar)
• seven weeks paid vacation per year
• to wear jeans and runners to work every day
• arrangements made for me to bring my dog with me (a simple bed beneath my desk would suffice)
• a new iMac on my desk
• a new iPod so as to drown out the din with music of my choosing
• to begin work at NINE in the morning
• to end work at FIVE in the afternoon
• two new roommates (good ones, please)
• a dishwasher for my home
• a new washing machine for my home
• money in my bank account and the ability to leave it there
• a new muffler for my car
• a new political system (one that satisfies everybody all the time)
• time and motivation to work on my novel
• all seven seasons of Buffy on DVD
• the ability to be funny whenever I choose
• faith that can move mountains (and anything else that gets in my way)
• a super-power or two would be nice, while we're at it