monster sarcasm rally

So I've been sick. Really sick. I've spent five days sitting like a lump on my couch, staring vacantly at the television.

I've learned a few things. Who says television melts the brain?

For starters, television is like radio: they play the same stuff over and over. You miss a show you want to watch — wait a few hours. It'll be on again.

Secondly, the people in the marketing department at Jimmy Dean's sausage company are either incredibly stupid or way too honest.

Our eggs come from real chickens. Our cheese comes from real cows. Our sausages come from Jimmy Dean.

That's disgusting! Do they not have any clue what it is they're saying? Really? Okay, follow me here people. Eggs come out of chickens. Milk comes out of cows. What exactly does Jimmy Dean have to do with the production of these sausages??? That can't be legal — even in the US!

Attention Jimmy Dean sausage marketing staff: I do not want to eat anything that came OUT of Jimmy Dean! I doubt I'm alone in this either.

Of course, this is all moot for two reasons.
1. I'm not American. I don't think we have Jimmy Dean sausages in Canada.
2. I'm a vegetarian. I don't want the usual kind of sausages any more than I want the pooped-out kind.