So, there I was at work, peacefully chatting... erm... peacefully doing my job. New guy walked up, came around behind my desk, looked at my monitor and watched what I was doing for several seconds. Eventually, he turned to me.
'Hi, I'm Bill*. I'm new here. You've undoubtedly seen me around the office and wondered who I was.'
He then proceeded to turn around to the stuff on the other side of my desk. He picked up a few papers and read them. Then he pointed to the fax machine. 'So this is a fax machine?'
No, loser, it's a friggin' toaster oven! Now go away before I shove my pen up your nose.
*Note: Bill is a made up name. Sadly his real name would actually fit the sentence even better, but it just doesn't seem right to tell you that it's Chad.